Tuesday, January 18, 2005
So I've got this new job, right? And it pays better and the responsibility is greater which in turns mean that it is super for my CV.
It means that I get to go to meetings and carry around a leather bound diary and a plethora of pens and people actually ring my direct line and when they do they know my name.
It means that I get to meet heaps of new people almost every day and most of them are nice and I shake hands and smile 'till my cheeks hurt although mostly that slippery smile that doesn't reveal teeth which is meant to say: 'you seem like a nice person and I enjoy your company albeit in a professional manner' but actually says: 'I didn't really hear what you said but I'll assume that you were friendly now when can I get away from here?'
The problem here is two-fold.
Firstly, I am no conversationalist. I tend to freeze up whenever faced with an unavoidable social situation, especially when stuck in a room with people with whom I don't have much in common, having to be nice. Nothing more and nothing less, just nice. Witty, of course, would be good, but I'm not really required to be witty as this trait is usually attributed to someone perceivably in a better paid/more creative/scientific/whatever job than mine. My professional world is still a man's world.
Secondly, I'm fairly anti-social. I'm quite happy to play in my own little puddle without the other kids splashing mud on my clothes. I like just getting on with things, instead of having to wine and dine and swing my hair.
These traits or whatever they are can surely be referred back to
arrogance
insecurity
the fact that I'm an only child and used to play by myself
or
it may just be that this is how my personality presents itself and, here it comes -
I'm in the wrong business.
2005 will hopefully be a year of change and discovery, I might let out the kaballah-observing hippie from within, or the chavvy cleaner or even the princess on the pea.
(Incidentially, don't forget to observe the Hans Christian Andersen bicentenary this year. There's loads of events on, mostly in Denmark of course, but one should (and will) definitely check out the exhibition at British Library from 20th May 2005. Or adopt something Andersen! Just don't forget about him, who wrote stories full of beauty and pain and utter, bloody misery.)
It means that I get to go to meetings and carry around a leather bound diary and a plethora of pens and people actually ring my direct line and when they do they know my name.
It means that I get to meet heaps of new people almost every day and most of them are nice and I shake hands and smile 'till my cheeks hurt although mostly that slippery smile that doesn't reveal teeth which is meant to say: 'you seem like a nice person and I enjoy your company albeit in a professional manner' but actually says: 'I didn't really hear what you said but I'll assume that you were friendly now when can I get away from here?'
The problem here is two-fold.
Firstly, I am no conversationalist. I tend to freeze up whenever faced with an unavoidable social situation, especially when stuck in a room with people with whom I don't have much in common, having to be nice. Nothing more and nothing less, just nice. Witty, of course, would be good, but I'm not really required to be witty as this trait is usually attributed to someone perceivably in a better paid/more creative/scientific/whatever job than mine. My professional world is still a man's world.
Secondly, I'm fairly anti-social. I'm quite happy to play in my own little puddle without the other kids splashing mud on my clothes. I like just getting on with things, instead of having to wine and dine and swing my hair.
These traits or whatever they are can surely be referred back to
arrogance
insecurity
the fact that I'm an only child and used to play by myself
or
it may just be that this is how my personality presents itself and, here it comes -
I'm in the wrong business.
2005 will hopefully be a year of change and discovery, I might let out the kaballah-observing hippie from within, or the chavvy cleaner or even the princess on the pea.
(Incidentially, don't forget to observe the Hans Christian Andersen bicentenary this year. There's loads of events on, mostly in Denmark of course, but one should (and will) definitely check out the exhibition at British Library from 20th May 2005. Or adopt something Andersen! Just don't forget about him, who wrote stories full of beauty and pain and utter, bloody misery.)
Powered by Bravenet
